Designer: LGM
Codings: Manikka
Images: 1 2 3 4
Brushes: 1 2

No more poison
Killing my emotion
I will not be frozen
Dancing is my remedy, remedy, oh
Stop stop preying
Coz I'm not not playing
I'm not frozen
Dancing is my remedy, remedy, oh

Move while you're watching me
Dance with the enemy
I've got a remedy
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Move while you're watching me
Dance with the enemy
Here is my remedy
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh


fucking addictive. on repeat mode.


need to party soon. hello to dance and bye to the world.


addict*on at 11:03:00 AM

should i, should i, should i?


so fucking tempting.


addict*on at 12:51:00 AM

Russian Roulette
Rihanna

Take a breath, take it deep
Calm yourself, he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Take a gun, and count to three
I’m sweating now, moving slow
No time to think, my turn to go

[Chorus ]
And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

Say a prayer to yourself
He says close your eyes
Sometimes it helps
And then I get a scary thought
That he’s here means he’s never lost

(Chorus)

As my life flashes before my eyes
I’m wondering will I ever see another sunrise?
So many won’t get the chance to say goodbye
But it’s too late too pick up the value of my life

(Chorus)



so so addicted to this song, just like how i was with how do you sleep, insomnia, and rehab.



absolut love.



so painful to continue that i wanted to give it up.


Je déteste tellement l'école


addict*on at 12:44:00 AM

Felt the need to reconnect to the world, thus abandoning 106 in the process. long overdue but somehow i actually am allowing myself to procrastinate.



the air-conditioning's getting way too cold, just like how my heart starts getting colder.


addict*on at 5:46:00 PM

i'm going to sell curry puffs then i'll have a curry puff and whatever empire and i'll make tons of money then i'll buy an island off some corner of the world and i'll pack my bags and move there; probably there'll be no internet access and i wont be able to use my mobile but i cant care less. cause i'm gonna say goodbye say goodbye, and live on fishes and nuts and berries and snuggle up to warm sheets, and stroll on beaches in the romantic evenings.

time for some peace and quiet without the hubba hubba of the world.


exams? assignments? some kind of joke.


addict*on at 4:43:00 PM

things change and people do too.


i've changed.


sometimes i wished i never grew. responsibilities didn't become too huge to handle, just that i became more nonchalant towards them.



something like fuckcare.


addict*on at 5:17:00 PM

sometimes it gets too weary then i decide to take a break.

and break turns into eternity; i'm too exhausted to wanna work anymore.


too tired and some-how i don't see the point no more.


sometimes indulgence can be a pretty thing. moments of weaknesses that never spell regret. i don't really care, for anything else.


and sometimes i indulge in anger and loathing. that turns into something ugly; call me sadistic but i find some pleasure in that. sometimes love becomes too difficult, and then i find that its easier to hate.


much much simpler when you don't care for the consequences, takes a load off your mind.



so just pull the trigger


addict*on at 5:12:00 PM

i wished i had injected a little more sarcasm into my words.

i really wished i did.


addict*on at 10:27:00 AM

now i know how it feels to submit to laziness and not get up to see what happened when i heard those noises. now i feel a tad guilty though i dont really know what happened. and now i feel so bad and so sorry for you.


i will miss you.







how long do you have to wait before you realize that you gotta treasure someone so precious. dont, for it might have already been too late.


addict*on at 1:53:00 PM

Need. To. Know. That i didn make the wrong choice.


So far i think i've probably made 2 this entire year.

I didn like to think of wrong choices as regrets, more of learning experiences. Cause somewhat i believe that choices are always made for a reason. Something always happens for a reason. And now probably it has happened for the mere reason - telling me that its not gonna work.


How beautiful.



On a lighter note, I feel decidedly brilliant cause I came up with 2 poems during meeting last friday, one better than the other. Bah-boon calls me the girl at the other end haha.


'm quite tired of certain stuff. Wanna get back to holidaying mood. And some craft-making.


addict*on at 4:22:00 PM

whoever said uni life was going to be much easier was seriously mistaken.

i think my uni life's really fucked up and i'm not happy at all. i mean save for certain things, generally i'm not pleased on the whole. i'm starting to regret choices and decisions. i find myself struggling to keep up. Keeping up with too much. I'm lagging.


really felt like slapping someone the other day. someone with a fucked up attitude, someone who needs a reality check.


addict*on at 8:54:00 PM

i've been away for such a long while that i think this place has grown spiders & bugs and creepy crawlies of all kinds.


pretty short update here, cause i gotta go back to norton anthology of english literature, this really anal piece of garb thats called my text.


wished i'd gotten business law as an elective, realized i had to take up like what, 3 electives in sem 2 to cover 30/36 AUs and i'm starting to worry quite a bit. gotten elected into sports club main comm ytd (wheeee!) & i'm pretty sure sem 2's gonna be a hell lot of hectic days and crazy nights. but we shall see.


pretty busy over the past few weeks, with hss foc, sports camp & hall foc. every other day i have my og mates asking me out for dinner, or outings. i feel really guilty i;ve got to turn some down, esp the hall people cause i cant stay for dinner. either that or i've got something on. and it really sucks when i have to say no, cause i dont wanna be the one who always ps them.


sports club's gonna take most of my time now. pretty glad i'd been to sports camp, really. :) but i'm really sorry to those i've got to somewhat neglect cause of this commitment i chose.



maybe lit was a wrong choice. i know for one econs is. fuck those ATs.



back to books, and some lil' piglet love.


addict*on at 2:11:00 PM

i should be off for the next two weeks or so for camps, three back to back camps which will not take the wham out of me i swear.

hss foc, sports unlimited, and hall camp (if i'm selected).


less than one month to school and i dont feel ready. days of late nights and mornings are feeling so good i dont wanna get out of this routine. not when nights are happy, and mornings are something i look forward to.


so tell me i made the right choice, one thats worth my time. because i need more than just passion/motivation.


addict*on at 4:58:00 PM

i see very little happiness nowadays. i dont know, but somehow things happen. life goes on yes, but how will you feel?

i'm happy for those who feel happy. i'm happy for s cause she got into nbs, i'm happy for hl for the same reason as well. and i'm happy for c because i saw in some fb post that she was contended with life. i mean, i do know it takes alot for someone to be satisfied, so i feel really good for them.


the days pass too slowly, and nights too quickly. when i saw t's video i missed wearing blue and grey. i missed everything that was good and had became the past.



how do concussions work? will an extremely hard knock on the head lead to one? like how about if you hit your head really hard at the bottom of the pool and never get back up?




and i'm really thankful for what i am feeling. in the midst of a highly unsatisfactory future/life, i see light in my life.

believe me when i say that this happiness of the moment's worth living for.

conversations, pretty conversations we all have.

addict*on at 12:38:00 AM

sun & sand escapades numbering two.


where pictures speak a thousand words.






<3 <3 <3


addict*on at 12:29:00 AM

i hate all this fcking shit.





someone just cut me up in pieces and feed me to the dogs.


i taste just so delicious.


addict*on at 9:45:00 PM

sometimes i wonder why do birds eat caterpillars? sure, they may look all green and fat and juicy but seriously do they even taste that good? i dont wanna think about how squishy those intestines will feel, or perhaps caterpillars do not have any! but they must have hearts i suppose, tiny green things beating for dear life.


i have a pet caterpillar at home, balancing precariously on some leaf that its been nibbling on! :D



i love talking to bestie and watching her incredulous reactions. heading to her house in ratty home clothes and taking vitagen from her fridge to drink. and looking over her clothes and laughing (LIKE CRAZY) at her momo's digs at her purple top. :)))



its when you have such great people in your life that you find it worth living. great people - family, friends, loved ones.


ever thought of slicing the heart like a piece of steak? i recall this sadistic post with much reference to the habits of the butcher which i wrote last year, i think. someone said i was scary haha. but why not? :)


i'm scary, sick and full of bull and gross.


so are you afraid now?


addict*on at 9:24:00 PM

my lips like shugar, my lips like shugarrrrr.


addict*on at 9:32:00 PM

so f-ed up, i can die.


its my fault, really.


addict*on at 12:31:00 AM

just finished painting my nails a light glittery turquoise-greenish colour, which actually looks fab on matte black nails. but i'm too lazy to put black polish on, and besides it stains my nails an unhealthy yellow. so now i have monster looking nails but i dont really care. i'm pretty satisfied cause the polish's super fast drying, three coats in less than half an hour, and not runined. i swear i'm getting better at this. :D




cant wait for my sand&sun escapades. want to leave sg like soon. really soon.


addict*on at 3:39:00 PM

i'm having my laptop on my stomach as i type this, and its really getting too hot.

but of course i'm procrastinating again. remniscient of those nights where essays were left undone till the last hour, the last minute; loud silence in council room as a companion on wednesday mornings. for two hours.


am appealing to everywhere and anywhere. have decided to do a double major in either public relations or journalism if i really have to stay in ntu. i refuse to believe that sph or whatever magazine firm will not accept an eng lit grad.


addict*on at 5:16:00 PM

you know, i would be flying off to tokyo tonight if not for the influenza.


last june i wanted so much to stay there and not fly back here. vacations are wonderous things, all the serenity even in the midst of bustling harajuku or ueno.


i know i'll make it to japan again this year.


but we're heading to tioman soon where snorkelling and scuba diving beckons. am very excited because mom says it'll be hot there and i am looking forward to sun and more sun. and sandy beaches where feet could be buried. (i hope)

couzie should be going with me so this spells greater excitement!



oh and on a separate note, i need to read shona's blog hah.



mg gathering on tuesday, bits and pieces but rather whole.

met shona at orchard where she was late (and i was early!), then watched the young victoria with dodo porkchop and shona. it was a good show :) and beep had to comment that there was no subtitles haha. got a little confused in the beginning cause we went in late, too caught up with accessories shopping until i recalled that we had a show to catch, then rushed into the theatre at the ninth level. plot was alright, but like what dodo said, there wasnt much climax. but i felt that the story went past a `lil too quickly; the life of victoria's not something that can be contained within two hours eh?

anyway we had delifrance where ghimmy met us, and lousy tuesday it was. the beef aglio oglio was bad, too spicy and too bland. and the meat wasnt tender. service was kind of poor as well, the glasses of iced water took like ages to arrive. delifrance should simply stick with bread and nothing else; wasnt the first time the food sucked.

polly came over after and we rotted there for a bit before heading to hard rock for dinner. me polly and porkchop, cause the rest had appointments. dodo's becoming such a workaholic hah. shared fish&chips with beep cause we werent really hungry after a late lunch and boy was the portion huge.


took some pictures, but it wasnt the usual amount of camwhoring done. really missed dodo's samsung back then where we used to take countless shots. i recall one very clearly, dodo hm shona me lana rani, where we stayed behind after lab at level 3 benches outside toilet to like chill awhile before next class.



anyway here's photos.















take one.


take two.


take three.



mg could be the best thing that ever happened to me in the past two years. love you all :)




because love runs in waters so deep;

it flows.


addict*on at 3:39:00 PM

fallin' hard & fast.


addict*on at 4:04:00 PM

Saturday was good, but i wouldn really term it crazy. Save for one or two wilder moments, captured in full glory (both through pairs of eyes & the camera), it was pretty ordinary, or simply fun with good friends, and a birthday girl :)

I've really got to say thank you to all who took care of the not so sober people, if i can recall, esp k.tan for me, and maybe fat cause i think i kept clinging on to him. Felt damn bad i didn get to say a proper goodbye to seiraaaa who came down from KL, and bel chun ceph as they were leaving cause i was sleeping hahahaha. Hey but sleep does wonders for too much alcohol i think, and so does puke. I swear i've never felt so much better after the short nap, and then back to the dancefloor where i was so much more awake than the bitch who didn even know what she was doing haha. And they all had to leave early to watch movie, which was damn shit, never do that again seriously.

Fell short of our target of 200 pictures; i took a total of 187 shots. 3 albums on fb, scores of pictures, but i didn upload some really bad ones hah. And i found chocolate smeared on the string of my cam. And yes that was a time where i couldn really recall what i was doing.

I hope not everyone was shocked, dont rmbr seeing their reactions but yeah, oh well.




The Uninvited is some stupid not scary movie that reminds me of A Beautiful Mind, only that my favourite movie had more depth than this one.



Looking forward to tomorrow, cause bbq with zeddclique peeps, and sleepover at tham's! How's that for some girl talk, squishy pillows, and marshmallows or Ben & Jerry's all night long? Total Love <3



AND NEXT TUES! pignic we havent been having since forever. honey glazed chicken yum.



i cant decide if i like my new haircut. but its really short :(




Till then.



love.


addict*on at 1:27:00 PM

its saturday tomorrow, and i'm excited! :)))




was horribly, terribly late for the girls' meetup yesterday, felt really bad, and they made me promise that i'll buy them desert. see jaime's album on fb hah. if we're still sane and sober sunday morning, i'll get you girls mac-flurrys okay?? :))


camwhored, camwhored, camwhored. brilliant lighting, some quirky poses. all on fb, thankyou jaime babe for adjusting the cam, and tagging pictures for all of us :)


here's one.


cheryl looks like some puppy doesnt she.



yay to good conversations, and good friends in the making! :)




MG MEETUP SOON PRETTY PLEASE. HI WHERE DID YOU GUYS GO?


addict*on at 4:35:00 PM

steamboat dinner & movie with the family last sat, watched star trek, which wasnt too bad even though spock with his pointy ears looked really stupid. james kirk was smokin' hot though.

pizza and some trawling of ps on mother's day, nice evening spent. sundays are starting to be a new favourite day cause i'm pleased to say warm goodbyes to getting up at seven in the morning!



am hoping that it wont rain tmr, so that i can swim! :)))



Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?
Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful.


addict*on at 1:44:00 PM